Day 39 SOS-2000 Poetry Project

Burn Your Debris
by Barbara Brennan

Burn the debris that has accumulated
around all of your original creations that are still in progress,
that have simply been standing by the wayside
awaiting your recognition.

Look with loving eyes.
Bring them gently into the fire of the burning heart,
and accept those portions of your being for what they are now.
The debris burns.
Within it you find the original spark,
the original divine creative urge,
the original light that seeks its self,
that seeks to unfold, to express,
that seeks to give its loving essence forth into the world.

Gayle’s Reflection:

My original creations are still very much under wraps.
Is it time to burn off the debris and allow it to flourish in the light of my adoring eyes?
Or is it time for continued judgment and procrastination?
What do I give to myself that I create?
Dare I show the world or hold it close to my heart?

This poetry project was gathering some debris as I stopped writing for a month. Realizing I was missing it, I began again today. Reigniting the spark Barbara speaks of, flaming the fire of my heart where my intention, love and creation originate. I am allowing myself to come in contact with the words to paper, the inspiration of the poem, then the stream that opens me to this divine process.

You see, I choose the poetic inspiration as a practice of getting myself comfortable with my own thoughts, ideas and writing words on the paper. Thereby creating a discipline of coming in contact with my teacher, and the lessons she gave. All of it brings me deeper into my own wisdom and creative essence self.

Being creative was not a lesson I received early on in life. It was more about doing the tasks required of me to please the adults around me. The positive reflection of my own creative nature was limited or non-existent. I give myself permission to witness and go with my own ebb and flow.

Now I am opening it up again in order to exercise my love of words to paper.
So burn off the debris of limitation with the fires of Beltane!
Have a bonfire and call back those portions which remain unfinished.
Tune into the expansion of life force, the original creative urge that seeks to express itself.
AHHH…the out breath of spring and warmth and light.
Rake up the old debris and alight it to fire!
Make room for new growth.

The seeds have been planted, and the darkness of winter is gone.
Light up and create!

Thank you Barbara,
I am shedding the dross and confines of winter and readying for more creative urges.

See you tomorrow,
Love Gayle

Day 38 – SOS Poetry Project

Your True Need – Self Care
By Barbara Brennan

Beneath your paradox you will find…

How you have not cared for yourself.
How you have not
followed your sacred longing.
How you have not attended moment to moment
the wave of your creativity,
as you move through your life.

It becomes as simple as this:
In what way are you uncomfortable
in this very moment? Your reaction
may be to go up against something.

But what are your natural responses?
Your response of self care
may be to slightly shift your body,
to eat something that you are hungry for.
What is it that you have longed to do
and have continually placed
into a so-called future that does not exist?

What of your soul’s longing
Have you put off into this future
in the name of taking care of another,
which then becomes the excuse
to stand up against the other?

You focus your attention and your energies
toward the other
rather than using them
for your self-transmutation.

Gayle’s Reflection:

How have I not cared for myself? Hmmmh… I can make that list long if I go back far enough. To start with, I learned early on that my own needs weren’t as important as the needs of other people, especially, people outside the family. This created problems with boundaries, self- worth and it took me decades to even realize it was happening.

I have been learning that my needs DO matter to me. The way I used to self- sacrifice in order to feel accepted or loved really didn’t work very well long term. I was often left feeling used and depleted.

I had to deeply understand the word “selfish”. I stripped it down, tore off the negative accusatory, punishing cocoon around it and slow began to embrace it, recognizing that being selfish really means I can and do put my needs first.

As a woman we understand that there are eons of patriarchal domination where we had to be subservient in order to survive. Being selfish could result in many negative life altering outcomes.

In addition, when we bear and raise children, their needs are put in priority over our own. There is in place a programming that our needs get met last, if at all. To alter this script we must become very conscious to what our needs are.

Begin to name them…
I need emotional understanding and physical affection on a regular basis from those around me.
I need mental stimulation and conversation regularly.
I enjoy creating fun things to do.
Having help with household tasks keeps me from feeling depleted.
And on it goes…WOMEN CHOOSE AND KNOW YOUR NEEDS!

Barbara starts with the sacred longing. My sacred longing has continuously been put in the future. Sometimes a portion of it arrives reminding me how much I love it. If only I could quit worrying about paying the bills, I may be able to tap in and breathe more life force into my sacred longing. A practice I am happily doing… allowing God’s Will to guide me.

Taking care of my natural responses and bodily needs has become my focus and emphasis. I do follow my wave better when I meet my physical needs.

It’s the creative part that was trampled on in early life that continues to be elusive. Railing against those who stepped on me, I continue to stand up against with my unresolved anger about it. Perhaps it would benefit me to soften and surrender my battle there and give myself permission to have space, time and support for my creative flow.

Doing this project is helping me achieve that creative flow, by further walking along the path toward my sacred longing. I choose now to focus my energies here.

Thank you Barbara, I now know and choose to engage my sweet longing.

See you tomorrow,
Love Gayle